


The deeproads expedition

by Marinari



Series: Iolarin Chronicles [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 08:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13701102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marinari/pseuds/Marinari
Summary: Tara Hawke and Co. have set off for the deeproads in hope of better fortune. What fates await them there, and will time away help Anders heal?





	The deeproads expedition

Tara watch Anders say his goodbye to the tranquil elf, and her heart ached for him. He had buried himself in research, trying desperately to find some way to brake the rite, and he look miserable. As dangerous as this trip would be, it might be good for him.

Tara patted his shoulder when he approached, and put on their best smile. He returned it weakly, with one final glance back to the girl.

In all her visits with the girl the past few weeks, Tara had yet to get much out of her. It was eerie, the way the tranquil stared into the distance blankly, and wouldn’t even look at you. It made her glad that she and Bethany had never been taken into a circle, with such a threat held over them.

Tara and Anders met up with the rest of the expedition, and Carver shot a pitying look at the blond man. They had all tried so hard to cheer him up. But it was obvious losing two people he had deeply loved to the Templars and tranquil was too much for the man.

Bela and Merrill had begged them to take him with them to the deeproads, no matter how much he complained about not liking it. Merrill had whispered a fear of him doing something dangerous, to himself or the chantry. And Tara believed it.

This would be good for him.

And the others would stop in from time to time, make sure the girl was okay. As much as a tranquil could be.

 

Most of the first week was spent just getting to the entrance, walking and hiking, and tempers flared under the heat of the autumn sun. Varric snapped at his brother often, who in turn snapped at them for picking this route. All through Anders hardly spoke, slept or ate. Tara was at their wits end, desperate to bring their friend from this pit of apathy closing in around him.

But it was Varric who finally did something about it.

“Alright blondie, it’s time for some drinks!” The dwarf announced, dragging a casket to their circle around a fire. “And you are going to drink with us.” He filled a tankard and thrust it in the mages hand, threatening look darkening his brow. Anders drank obediently, wide eyed. Tara smirked.

The four of them – Anders, Carver, Tara and Varric – drank heartily, bitched about the long treks the heat, Bartrand’s head up his ass, vermin that snuck into your tents. Then Varric seemed to put his real plan into action, once they were well and truly pissed drunk.

“So, what’s so great about this girl that you’ve become such a gloomy misanthrope?” He accused, staring Anders down.

Anders looked into the fire, cradling his tankard, a sad look clouding his face.

“She was one of my only friends in the circle. That girl had a way of sneaking into your heart and latching on. After Karl left, she was the only one I really had left in Kinloch. I abandoned her so many times though.” He paused, and drank deeply. “But every time I came back, she was the only thing that got me through, and she always forgave me. She was a light in that dark place.” He broke off, and Tara could see him fighting tears.

“You’ve told us a lot of her antics, how much of a trouble maker she was. But what did she mean to you?” Carver asked, prodding him along gently. Tara gave him a thankful glance.

“Oh she was a trouble maker alright. Always dragging others along into her mess, but always taking the blame if anything went wrong. She cared so much, she was so fierce. She would stand up to even Greigor, tiny thing as she is, and she could get away with pretty much anything. She was so gifted, could learn anything, and she had a way with people. Even people who were jealous of her loved her.” He smiled, lost in thought.

“Did you?” Tara couldn’t stop the words, and Anders stared blankly at them for a moment.

“I suppose so. I think it started when Karl left. I tried escaping shortly after, but didn’t last long. And there she was when I came back, scolding me and crying and even when I was heartbroken at Karl leaving, I realized I still had her there. She’d latch onto me, make me study with her, or be around her friends. She never let me be alone to brood.” He shook his head, watery smile on his lips. “If she could see me know, if she was herself, I’d get the scolding of a lifetime.”

“Do you think there really could be a way to break the rite?” Tara glanced sharply at Carver, who ignored her. “Do you think she’d thank you if there was? Once I asked a tranquil if they’d ever want it reversed, but she said she wouldn’t be able to live on with the things done to her if it was possible. It’s harsh, but maybe she is better this way?” Tara wanted to scold him, but her mind went to the girl, the things that must have been done to her. All those scars. Tara could not stop the stricken look that crossed her face.

Anders stood abruptly, though on shaky feet.

“She’s different. She could handle anything. She has to be.” Tears were on his cheeks, and he stormed off. Varric smacked her brothers shoulder, but Tara stared after their friend.

“You think he doesn’t know the truth, kid? Let the man have a little hope.” Tara stood.

“You didn’t see her the way he has, Varric. I don’t think it’s hope; I think it’s desperation. The depravities visited on her… You can’t comprehend. It’s better he knows that it may turn out the way it did in the chantry, with her begging for death. Which is worse; a hollow husk of the woman he loves, or having to kill the person he loved for a second time?” Carver shot, and stood, tugging his sibling back. “What are you going to say to him? What can you say?” Tara glared viciously at him, tugging away.

“If that were me, or Bethany, what would you do?” She demanded, and he looked away. “Wouldn’t you want the hope that you could bring us back? It’s his choice. And hers.” She stormed after Anders, and Varric smacked Carver across the head.

“You really have no tact.”

Tara found Anders at the edge of camp, hugging himself and staring into the trees.

“I have to believe I can bring her back Hawke. I can’t lose her again.” Tara wrapped their arms around him, resting their chin on his shoulder.

“With the money from this expedition, I’m sure we can find a way. I will help you, and so will the others. You aren’t alone in this.” They paused and squeezed him tighter briefly. “And I’ll buy my family’s huge mansion, we’ll move her there so she’s safe and close by, and you can visit through the secret cellar entrance. So please, Anders, come back to us.”

“We are all worried, even Carver in his own nonsensical way. We don’t want to lose you. So let us help?” Tara pulled away walking around to face him. He gave her a weak smile, and reached out to pat her shoulder.

“I think you’d like the person she really is. You’re a lot alike.” He sighed, and shook his head. “But your brother is right in a way. I should ask her, if this is what she wants, before I keep digging. When we get back, we’ll deal with it all then. And Hawke?” He looked at her earnestly, and she grasped his hand.

“Yes?”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without all your help. There’s no way I can ever repay you, but I hope my friendship is enough for now?” Tara blushed, and cleared their throat loudly, before surging to pat his back awkwardly, making him almost lose his balance.

“Well, I could always use a healer. I’m rubbish at it, and I’m sure there’s always going to be trouble waiting for me. Let’s go back and assure Carver we aren’t planning on smothering him in his sleep for his big mouth.” Tara tugged Anders back, and he laughed at her, the sound loosening some tension in her over him.

 

It took another week before they finally made it to the entrance of the deeproads. Another week after that before they found the tunnel to the thaig Bartrand wanted. Varric drank more the further they got underground, and Anders grew more restless.

“I can feel them, on the edge of my senses. Not close enough to be a danger, but enough to be annoying.” He quipped as they were stopped for a break while a small blockage was cleared. Tara rolled their eyes.

“This is the deeproads. We’re lucky they haven’t swarmed us yet. Good thing you came along.” She elbowed him, grinning at him. He rolled his eyes. Her brown skin was covered in dirt and sweat, having been helping with the clearing, and her reddish brown curls were bound away from her face, darker under the dust coating it.

“For a mage you’re awful physical.” He teased, prodding her muscled bicep. She flexed looking at her skin.

“I grew up on a farm. You think just because I’m a mage I got out of chores? But if you think I’m built, you should see my twin; Tarrin is built like a brick house. Probably why he’s part of her majesty’s royal guard.” She grinned, and leaned down to scratch at her marbari who rolled around at her feet.

“That why he didn’t come with your family?”

“Sort of. He and dad got in a big fight, before he passed away. I think he was too ashamed for being gone when it happened, he hardly speaks to mom. My being a twin though, I always get a letter once every few months. I’m hoping to convince him to visit once we are done here, if he can get away from the service.” She smiled, leaning against a cart. “We actually look a lot alike, aside from him being a head taller. Oh, and the facial hair he had when I last saw him. I hope you can all meet him. He’s much nicer than my tit of a younger brother.” She looked over to Carver, who was entrenched with dwarves moving rubble, a smile curving their lips.

“You care a lot for your siblings. I’m sorry your sister didn’t make it.” He patted her shoulder, which she rolled, cracking her neck.

“Mother will never forgive me; so I’ve got to protect the other one. If anything happened to him, I don’t know how mother would cope. Nor myself.” They cleared their throat, and nodded to where Varric and Bartrand were huddled over the maps. “Shall we see what they’re up to?”

 

A week and a half later they were far into the deeproads, and had experienced nothing more than the occasion cave in and deepstalker skirmishes. Having Anders there to warn them about approaching Darkspawn was invaluable, and he was becoming popular amongst the caravan.

Tara was relieved to see him relax, and socializing more. He was slowly coming out of the daze that had consumed him when they had found the Surana girl.

Tara parted from Varric and Bartrand, letting them quarrel amongst themselves, to find her brother and Anders. She located them bunched up near a fire, bottle of wine empty at their feet. They were joking amongst themselves when she approached.

“I was humiliated, really. I was so afraid to ever bring it up, and I hope she doesn’t remember. Because I’d either be the ass who drunkenly groped her, or the ass who pretended he didn’t remember.” Anders was saying, and his face was flushed a deep crimson.

“Makers balls, but that’s awful. I thought I was bad with women! And she still hung around you? What if you had broken the poor girls heart?” Carver was loud, and Tara frowned, bushy brows drawn together.

“And what are you two drunkards talking about?” she inquired, causing them to snap around to look at her. Carver fell from the rock he had perched on.

“Anders was just telling me how he drunkenly molested that Surana girl while they were in the circle, then pretended to remember nothing about it.” He babbled, and Ander shot him a nasty glare.

“Molested is such a harsh word! We were both very drunk, and she kissed me!” he looked away though, embarrassed and ashamed. Tara shook their head, rolling their eyes at the men.

“Neither of you should ever be around women, honestly. You tumble with a girl then shove off like nothing happened! And don’t get me started on you, brother dear.” She chastised, plopping on the spot vacated by her brother. Carver glared at her, and pouted at the fire.

“You’ve got me there.” Anders admitted, and gave her a sheepish look.

“You seem so suave too. To believe you ever did something so cruel. What would the women at the blooming rose think?” She teased, and he chuckled, turning to the fire.

“Indeed.”

“Wanna hear about the time Carver got pissed drunk and ended up kissing livestock with a group of cloister sisters watching him?”

“Hey!”

 

Three and a half weeks later, and Tara is banging on the door recently closed behind them, cutting off Bartrands traitorous face.

“You bastard!” They yelled, dirt clinging to their hair and face, rage marring it further.

“Tara! It’s no use. We need to find another way.” Anders tugged their arm, though his eyes showed how angry he was too. “Let’s go.” She went, though with one final kick at the blasted stone. She looked on at Varrics pale face, and patted his shoulder.

“We’ll get him back for this. First, let’s get the fuck out of here.” She hiked her pack back to her shoulders, glad for that bit of forethought. She had demanded the others do the same, not knowing if a cave-in would trap them into trying to find a way around. She never imagined that traitorous nug-fucker would be the one to trap them.

“Anyone like the taste of deepstalker?” Carver joked, trying to ease the tension, and the rest grimaced.

“Let’s hope we don’t have to resort to that.”

 

It takes them longer than they hope, getting back to where they started, without carts, and having to find food when their supply finally runs out. They fight their share of darkspawn, these parts crawling with them. Three weeks to run into the blasted profane and rock-wraith. Tara makes note of the treasure they find, all of them filling their purses. At least they made a profit from this blasted trip.

Another week, and Carver collapses. Tara rushed to catch him, face stricken.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Oh Carver.” She hugs him, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“I didn’t think anything of it at first, and you have enough to worry about.”

“It’s the taint.” Anders approaches, his face full of pity. Tara clutches her brother closer.

“I’ll end up like that Templar, Westley. And dead all the same.”

“No, don’t you dare say that. There must be something we can do?”

“I don’t think I’d make it to the surface. It’s close now, I can feel it.”

“There is another option, though I loath to suggest it. I took the maps from a group of Grey Wardens. I thought they were there for me, but they weren’t; they planned their own expedition.”

“What a thing to hold back Anders.” She doesn’t mean to sound so bitter, but her heart is racing, and she can feel Carver shaking under her fingers.

“I needed to avoid them, and it wasn’t relevant to the expedition. Now it is. I must warn you though, even if we can find them, and convince them, the joining isn’t something I’d wish on anyone.”

“What does becoming a warden entail? What’s so horrible about it?”

“I can’t tell you that. All I can say is that there’s a chance it could save your brother, the only chance that I know of. It’s up to you.” Tara looks down at Carver, his normally brown skin paled by the sickness. How had she not noticed?

“It’s your choice, brother.  But if it’s the only chance you have, I think you should take it. I’d rather lose you to the Wardens, than death. I’d rather you live.” He smiled at her, reaching to cup her face.

“And mother would never let you live it down, losing another sibling. She still may never forgive you.” He teased, and Tara let out a broken laugh, running her fingers through his matted hair.

“You always hated that I was the favorite. Now mother might even disown me.”

“Let’s do this. If it’s the only chance I have, then it’s the only thing to do.”

They lifted him, Varric and Anders taking their packs as she hoisted him on her back.

 

It took almost a week, but they found the wardens. Anders managed to convince them to take Carver, and Tara clutched him goodbye one last time.

“Live, little brother; or I will never forgive you.” She kissed his cheek fiercely, and he cupped her face, hands clammy, as the two wardens pulled him away.

“I love you, sister. Tell mother I’m sorry.” Tara stood tall, watched them carry her younger sibling away, until they were gone from view. Then she collapsed, sobs tearing from her throat. Varric and Anders bent down, gripping her shoulders.

“Bartrand will pay for this, I swear it.” Varric whispered fiercely, fighting his own tears. Tara gripped Anders robes, fighting to speak.

“Thank you, Anders. If you hadn’t been here… I don’t know what I would have done.”

He nodded weakly, stroking her arm. “I owed you a great debt. I’m just sorry there was nothing else I could do.”

“My brother will live. I know it. There’s no debt between us. This is something I could never repay. Thank you, Anders.” He nodded again, knowing better to argue with her.

 

They continued farther to the surface, enough to be safe from the Darkspawn, before making camp. Tara hardly slept, nightmares about her siblings, losing all of them over and over, her mother’s disappointed face haunting her.

 

 During the next week they broke through to the surface, and made their way on land. They were careful to keep from being followed, in case Bartrand had men looking for them.

One night, the three sat around a small fire, a nug roasting there. There were plenty, wandering around the area. Anders was fiddling with a charm around his neck, white like bone and carved intricately.

Varric broke the silence.

“What have you got there, Blondie?” Anders’ head shot up, and he blinked dazedly.

“It belonged to Iolarin. It was something her Father made, the only thing she had from her parents.” He stared into the distance, and Tara shared a worried glance with Varric. “Krista found it, in the ruins of Kinloch. I had thought it meant for sure she had died. Something this precious, she would never be separated from it.”

“So you held onto it. But why didn’t you return it?” Varric gave her a nasty glare, and she realized her fumble. Tranquil had little use for such baubles.

“When I heard she was alive, I had hoped to… It didn’t seem right, once we found her.” He shrugged, and Tara did not press.

“One day, you’ll sweep her off her feet returning that blondie.” Anders gave Varric a smile, however small it may have been.

 

When they reached a small farming town, Tara sent word ahead to their friends, hoping they hadn’t believed them dead yet.

Tara wondered if Surana had had her children yet, and how they would be taken care of. Could tranquil raise infants? They never asked the question aloud, and never brought the girl up first. The subject always seemed to send Anders deeper into his melancholy.

 

They were a day from the city, all on edge and snappy. Tara knew Anders was afraid to face everything again. To face Surana. They didn’t know how to help him, but Tara tried their best.

“I plan on buying my family's old estate. There is an entrance near your clinic. We can move Surana and her children there, to keep a close eye on them.” Anders sighed, and Varric nodded in agreement.

“I think that would be best. No offence to the Dalish, but I don’t think they’d handle a tranquil mage too well for too long; elf or no.” He patted Anders on the back, and the rest of the trip was mostly spent in silence, thankfully less irritated than before.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here is that oneshot I mentioned. It is a little choppy, and I might go through it again and fix some things later. But I hope you all enjoyed this little foray. This catches it up to a point the main story has yet to reach, and I don't have a strict timeline written out for this.  
> Lemme know what you all thought! Deeper look into Tara; and into the past Anders shares with Io. ;)


End file.
